S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

I went to a bar on Saturday, not just a bar, but one of those dance bars I can't stand.

A friend of mine (Grumpy Old Man) plays in a local band, and On Friday night a buddy and I went to check them out, the music was great, but the attendance was, well there was none. Other than My Friend and me, there were maybe another 20 people, employees included. In between sets I spoke with my guitar playing buddy, and it turned out that Fridays are not the best night to come to this bar. I decided to go back the next night, after a birthday party I was to attend with Eeyore and Eeyore's wife (soon to be re-named).

I got there late and the place was full, Grumpy Old Man was finishing up a set, so I sat back and ordered a drink. When the set was done he came over and sat with me and had a beer. A few things were noted in my first five minutes there:
1. I hate dance bars
2. I can't believe I still pass as a minor
3. I was among the youngest people there
4. The dance floor was more than entertaining enough to keep me there.

I guess every party has one. The young, attractive, not terribly bright, very uninhibited girl getting stares from every "bar predator" that exists. Since I'm not much of a dancer I assumed my normal pose, leaning on the railing surrounding the dance floor as Grumpy Old Man took to the stage.

Part 1

The first song started and the young lady (BarHo) lures her first partner (The Dude) onto the floor. Seductive stares exchanged (actually The Dude had no idea what day of the week it was so he was trying to focus on horizontal vs. vertical), the two started to dance. BarHo wasted no time and she put her back to him and started to grind, grope, grasp and rub The Dude, who was obviously proud (he was waving his hands in the air and laughing at his buddies who were sitting watching him). Then BarHo turned looked right into his eyes and moved closer as if to try and kiss him, the dude lunges at her for the kill, and is met my a smack. Not from lips, but from the palm of an open hand. BarHo storms off angry with the audacity of this guy who tried to kiss her. The Dude is still excited and is smiling from ear to ear as he makes his way to his buddies who are roaring at him.

Part 2

Before the next song even starts, BarHo is back on the floor with a 30 year old guy (Kim Mitchell look alike) who obviously caught the beginning of Part 1, but not the second. She starts into this guy wrapping one leg around him and grinding his mid section like a Britney Spears on Spanish fly. He is smiling and his eyes are WIDE open. You can read his thoughts;
"Man this chick wants me bad! I guess the "vibe" I was putting out must have caught her eye! If I play this right I will definitely get some tonight! Mom's gonna make us breakfast in the morning! (long pause) I Love her!"

The song passes and Kim Mitchell has "the look", he is into her, she says thanks and walks away. Kim Mitchell follows, she has obviously moved on, but this poor bastard is not giving up, so he lurches around following her.

Part 3

She hits the floor with her latest find. This guy has missed Part 1 and Part2. He's a well dressed young man, obviously with no need to pick up BarHo. Kim Mitchell is around though, dancing with himself, never more than 8 feet from BarHo and her new catch. He (GQ) shuffles his feet as she pole dances around him. GQ is getting less and less impressed. Then it happens. She backs her rear right into him and rubs into GQ's mid section. GQ is not impressed, he leaves. BarHo follows him visibly upset. An exchange ensues near the door where GQ is obviously not bothering to reply.

Out of nowhere Kim Mitchell intervenes dancing like a fool. Smack! Kim Mitchell's heart is broken.

This is the last we see of BarHo for a while, then during the last song, she re-appears, barely conscious with a biker (Harley), Harley is smiling at his buddies who are cheering him on from the side, as she sort of hangs off of him. She should have stuck with Kim Mitchell.

After this little slice of the "Night Life" I have re-kindled my hatred of the bar scene; but the music was great, the beer was cold, and I must have passed for "acceptable" by some miscellaneous ladies who were determined to get Jim to dance, but if you know Jim, Jim don't dance with anyone, except Wife. I know. I'm a "prude".