Fun and games first installment

So, What does a guy like me do during a Lockout of his favorite sport?

I invent ways to occupy myself.

I Have come up with a variety of games (indoor and outdoor) to pass the time and keep you under the radar of any persons seeking to limit you fun intake/output. I will release these games as time permits.

Daytime Game #1: Office Dodgeball

***Warning*** These games may cause such side effects as; Dismissal from employment; Eye injuries; Heart attacks; elevated Blood pressure; Diarrhea; Constipation; Bloating; Dizziness; Lack of Sexual Interest; Increase of Sexual Interest (depending on uniforms); Mild to severe burning and itching; Loss of client base; and sneezing.

Category: Indoor all season fun (office)

Required: Paper Ball and at least 2 (maximum 10) good humored co-workers.

Goal: To bean at least 1 player per quarter (a quarter is the time between start of day and break; between end of break and lunch, etc…), the location of the hit does not matter.

Mid section shots are not lethal but are frowned upon in the office environment.

Rules: There shall be NO sneak attacks from behind walls, players must be able to see each other for at least one second prior to release. (Turning away to avoid a hit (Turn aways) are not permitted)

You may hit the same person as often as you wish through a quarter, but repeat attacks automatically re-activate the player.

Heckling downed players is encouraged, but indoor voices are to be used at all cost. Unless Downed player cries, then the indoor voice policy may be reviewed for the enjoyment of others.

A Throw may only be nullified by;
A. Stepping out of the way of incoming paper ball, or;
B. deflecting the shot with another Paper ball. * Note * a maximum of 2 paper balls may be used per player.

Players may be recruited by simply attacking with a paper ball. If they do not react, send second paper ball to make sure they get the point.

Games will go on as long as they have to within the confines of the set quarter times. Overtime pay may not be claimed for matches that are not decided within the 4 quarters of a normal work day. Government employees may modify this rule according to local regulations.

Penalties will be assessed for Improper paper balls (dimensions may not exceed 1 cubic foot);
-Telling management is an automatic suspension;
-For heckling, while it is encouraged, may not extend outside business hours to the player’s home (except under circumstances covered by the Halloween amendment or the April fools day clause);
-Physical contact that is deemed more severe than a hip check (contact may be used only while trying to save an ally) will result in a 2 minute “time out”.

Stay tuned for more fun with the Happy Gapper, next week we’ll make watching Oprah with your wife fun!