Misfortunes? Me?

Ok, ok, after reviewing the stories of Ior and doing some review of my own life I have concluded that there may be some good (true) stories from my upbringing.

Early years:

I was about 6 years old when the first weird accident happened, I was riding my Banana seated bike and if you have ever owned one of the old fashinned bikes, you know that the pedals didn't stand up to wear and tear. Usually after a few seasons of use you would see only a steel peg remaining of the pedal. It couldn't be trusted for foot stability, but still functionned for pedaling, or as I found, for ripping through your flesh and plunging itself 2 inches into your ass crack (no not there, about 7 inches up from there).

It happened as I laid down my bike on its side, and started to occupy myself with some other things. I sort of stumbled back and caught one of my feet on the tires and back I fell. To this day I have the scar of what appears to be a second poo chute. Now the quirky thing here is, that my older brother Boner had the same thing happen to him at some point in his youth (does he have a second poo chute?), we both had the moments recorded in still pictures of a bandage covered bottom. As if somehow this seemed like something we should look back on with fondness.
There ought to be a public service announcement.

PSA; excessive and improper use of bycicle and related equipment may cause mild to severe physical alterations such as: missing teeth, lacerations, bruising, broken limbs, loss of eye and establishment of new orifices.

A little later (12 or so):

Other older Brother Pokey was in possession of his learners driving permit when the family made it's way to town for groceries and doctor's appoinments. On the way home as I way slobbering all over my ice cream treat from behind the driver's seat. I remember mom saying; "Pokey, you can't turn a corner at this speed" to which I remember a reply of "watch me!" Then, a weird thing happened, we were turning right, down the access road to our small town when the next thing I knew I was lying on my back in a ditch.

Still wearing a better part of my Revel on my face I peered at my toes and beyond to the car, now stopped, 100 feet away from me. There stood up in disbelief outside the vehicle, was Pokey. I sat for a moment and then worked my way to my feet. My first swear words in the presence of my Ma were; "asshole".The rest of the trip passed with not so much as a whisper, except for mother who repeatedly shook her head saying: "my God". I was teary and had only the Revel on my face to sooth the sting to my pride and the raspberry on my ass. It seems the door was not properly closed and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. There is a Public servise announcement.

As for the rest of my youth, those are the two and only accidents (humorous in nature) I have ever had. Except for falling off a treadmill during peek gym time, and sliding on a shale infield while playing softball, after the third out... Long after. I know.