Happy St. Patty's Day

Jim's favorite movie moment.

Here's the setting, Stewart (an old Scottish man played by Mike Myers) is sat in his chair in a dumpy little house in San Fransisco. Stewart is surrounded my old "Weekly World News" newpapers and empty Red Label Export beer bottles. He's entertaining guests who are made up of his son Charlie (also Mike Myers) and Charlie's best friend Tony. His Child (nicknamed Head) is sporting an afro and has an irregularly large head, and his wife May has dyed (many shades) hair and has an addiction to the "Weekly World News" a Enquirer like periodical that she refers to as "The Paper".

In the other room, Stewart is entertaining Tony while Charlie visits with his mother.

Stuart Mackenzie (Charlie's father) ... "William! Move your head! Look at the size of that boy's head!"
Tony ... "Shhhh!"
Stewart ... "I'm not kidding, that's like an orange on a toothpick!"
Tony ... "Shh! You're going to give the kid a complex."
Stewart ... "Well, that's a huge noggin! That's a virtual planetoid! Has its own weather system! Head! Move!"

After some giggles from Tony and a few glares from Stewart, Mae (Charlie's Mother) requests the Paper from Stewart, to which he says:

Stewart: "Head! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can! Haulin' that gargantuan cranium about! I'm not kidding, that boy's head's like Sputnik! Spherical, but quite pointy in parts. "

He turns to Tony speaking a little more quetly..." Well, that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow!"

The rest of the evening is filled with conspiracy theories about something Stewart calls thePentaburate, which makes up the largest power in the world.

Stewart: "The queen. The vatican. The Getty's. The Rothschilds. AND Colonel Sanders before he went tits up!Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee BEADY eyes! and that smug look on his face, 'Oh! You're gonna buy my chicken, OHHH!"

Charlie: "Dad, how can you hate...the Colonel?"

Charlie's Father: "Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave for it nightly, smart ass!"

Taken form the movie So I Married an Axe Murderer.

Mike Myers is possibly the funniest Scottish impersonator in existance. I love studying his movies (Axe Murderer, Austin Powers, Shrek etc...) and regurgitating it in party settings, especially with my "Uncle Angus McHallett".

Aye he's a bonny scotsman, the likes of which have oonly been seen in the deepest parrts of the ol' sod. Aye! Herre's to me uncle Angus on St. Patty's day! He's a horse's arse!