The Honeymoon in Quebec, spa debacle. Part One

I’ve been saving this story for a while, waiting for the perfect time to unleash it on my loyal readers. I promise you will not be disappointed.

I was married in the summer of 2003 to my beautiful Wife in her home province of Newfoundland. The weather was nice, the food was great and… she said yes, so I guess it was a great wedding.

Our rehearsal dinner consisted of a pile of family and friends gorging on the finest food prepared by a family of amazing cooks. The menu was Scallops, Turbot cheeks, Crab legs (shhhh), shrimp, mussels, salmon, coocoos (snails) and some other bakes fish dishes. We did it the only way our families were comfortable, standing over the trough, talking loud and eating. There were no formal speeches or sitting, just come as you are. It was fantastic. Of course my flatlander family never really left the table covered in Crab legs, it was quite the sight to see.

The wedding came and passed without incident, and barely took up any time at all. It was over so fast I felt like it should have been longer, just so it could sink in more. We partied and danced and it was a great time.

The next day came the gift opening. This would be the day that, unbeknownst to me, would change my life forever.

The gifts were great and we received way too much of everything. But the envelope that read “to Vicki from VBR” would prove to be less of a gift and more of a basis for a story.
Inside the envelope was a gift certificate to a day spa, apparently one of the better chain spa’s in Quebec.

***(Silly JIM thought #1 – “Hey great! Vicki can spend an entire day being pampered and I can go to Boston Pizza and watch a game and have a beer!”)

We left Newfoundland the following day to return home to our new life together.

The winter came and went and we had not yet used this gift and we decided it was time to make a decision. So, we made a plan; We’ll go to Hull Quebec and spend a few days there, and continue on to the beautiful city of Quebec, and visit my brother and his wife. Sounded great, I was ready for a few beers and a nice walk through the old city.

***(Silly JIM thought #2 – “Man, this is gonna be sweet, I love Ottawa, I can skip down to the Gluepot Pub for a few and meet Vicki at the hotel when she’s done with her spa thing!”

Then came the question: “So what things would you like to do?”
JIM: “Huh?”
Wife: “What treatments would you like?”
JIM: “Oh, no, you go ahead, get some face cleaning and toe massaging, I’ll just hang out.” – trying to be a nice guy
Wife: “No way, this was a gift for both of us, I think you would really enjoy it!” – trying to be loving wife
JIM: “No really, I’m fine, enjoy yourself!”
Wife: “But I’d like to do this TOGETHER.”

My fight was over. I declined the face wash and the toe nail clipping, and decided on a 1 hour massage where I would be in the same room as my wife. Romantic, yes?

No.

***Silly JIM thought #3 – “Ah well this won’t be too bad, I’ll get to have a 1 hour massage by some cute little grad student and my wife will be happy too!”

If JIM could go back he would have planned a trip to a cracker factory. Jim would have enjoyed a trip to a cracker factory.

The plans were set and despite my many appeals to let Wife have all the fun alone, I was on my way to Hull QC, for a day at the spa. And to what would quickly become a recurrent nightmare I would have for the months to come.

In order to not spoil a great story, I’m going to leave this one hanging. Please check back tomorrow for “The Honeymoon in Quebec spa debacle. Part Two”