My greatest disappointment in life was my last year at summer Bible camp.
I was one of the older boys there, and I was looked up to by the younger campers. I was a helper to the counselors and well known. In the evenings the children gathered around me to hear my latest spin on “koombayah”. Or the immortalized “germs my invisible dog” which was re-worded to reflect the private parts of Jake (Boner’s friend… at least they were before “Germs, Germs, Jakes invisible” …. Anyway). Keep in mind that we were just kids.
The day of my disenchantment I was sad, knowing this was my last day at camp, Mom and dad were on their way to pick us up after the usual awards ceremony. I was pretty sure I had them all locked up, I was an expert marksman, canoe specialist, a singing angel, crafts whiz and with my sheer stubbornness as my drive, I was also a favorite to win the relay races.
The awards ceremony came along and the show went on, we did a parody of our counselors and of course Father Banga (not joking). Then the awards were handed out. Arhery… Jim…. Marksmanship… Jim… Canoeing… Jim… Swimming… Jim… Singing… Jim… I cleaned up.
Then came the final award of the night. The stage was set, I was anxious, but confident… silence…
“And the Cutie Pie Award goes to…
Suspense…
Junior…”
WHAT? That punk rode my back to the top, all that work, all that determination… all that ass kissing… He wasn’t even that cute, sure he was like 7 with long eyelashes and a chubby hamster like face and big brown eyes, but c’mon man!
This scarred me deeply, and I only tell you as my friends hoping that I might unburden myself of this recollection that until now was buried deep inside.
Damn you Junior…. Damn you.
3 comments:
;)
I know my friend, the politics of the summer bible camp cutie pie contest can be a vicious thing. Buck up old boy, I too remember Father Banga and that roach infested councellors cabin. And remember the glory of getting Cabin 7 before it was condemmed??? Oh good times!
Geo
I remember 7, but secretly always hoped to migrate into the red shack located near the football field.
Wait a second, was that Bible camp or fat camp???! Nah, Banga was a hog.
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