Dear Liver (Ollie)
I know I have mistreated you recently, and you have no reason to believe that I want to change, but I need you to live.
It was a bad spell of continuing assaults on you that made you leave. I feel like a part of me is missing. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I think we can be stronger, with this time you have spent away from me. I need you back.
I promise not to drink anything I can't spell, and I agree that three days of non-stop partying took it's toll on our relationship, but we can be better, I promise. Golfing should be something we can do together without errupting into a back and forth seeing how much abuse, each other can take.
In closing I have left your spot in me open if you choose to return. If you don't come back soon, I may need to move on with my life with another, I know this is harsh, but I need my life too.
Yours truly,
JIM
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5 comments:
I saw your liver trying to thumb a ride on my way outta town. He said he was leaving an abusive relationship.
I think I saw your liver at the trial of Klansman Edgar Ray Killen in Mississippi. He was juror Number 4, I believe.
I have received a ransom note, it says that if I leave a jug of OJ (homicider) that it may return.
Hoping you are reading this;
JIM
i have it-i will let you have him back for 1 billlllion dolla's-and one more date, hehe, and if you see another one, send it home-i might know who it belongs to
i saw him in my front lawn and sorry i was spraying for squitoes with malathine , hope it is still good and i will send back to u asap with a box of buffalo ribs mmmmmmmmmmm
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