Me like Hockey

Let me tell you why I will not be working tomorrow.

Golf. I am going on a golf trip with the team I “played” for last winter. It involves a State-side trip (cheap beer) a round of golf, a steak dinner, and a keg of beer. Eeyore will be attending of course, he is my connection to the world of all the things I enjoy (cheap beer!).

I played for the team one game and rode the bench twice, but enjoyed it more than any pick-up game I have played in the past few years. I play in goal.

Some people refer to goalies as “insane” or “crazy”, but I assure you, I would much rather be facing a 90 MPH slap shot than a Todd Bertuzzi sucker punch. Here is something I found on CBC this morning:

When he was just a rookie with the Montreal Canadiens, a reporter noticed that Roy seemed to get a lot of favourable bounces and the puck seemed to often hit the goalposts.

That's because, Roy said, he talks to his posts during the game.

"They are my friends," he said.

Roy's superstitions have been well documented because he is arguably the greatest goaltender to play the game.

Roy, who holds the NHL record for career wins by a net minder, had a set routine before every game.

During the pre-game, he would skate out to the blue-line and stare at the net, envisioning it shrinking. He would also consciously never step on the blue-line or red-line.

Now as for me, I never did anything that stupid. I did however have the following rituals.

· Fart every time the opposing team is anywhere near the crease.

· Let the first goal of every game slide past me.

· Let the last goal of every game slide past me.

· Tape my stick only when the splinters falling off of it are affecting my play.

· For fun, I close my eyes when someone shoots at my head. And then giggle uncontrolably.

I ask the referees if they can see my shoulder straps.

And something that is not routine, but more of a habit:

I can think of 1000 reasons why our team lost that has no connection to me or my routine. Yeah, I'm a real gem.