The Big bike

My wife signed herself up for the Big Bike for Heart and Stroke research, thing, where she's supposed to raise money and ride a gargantuan vehicle along with about 19 other people. This was a few months ago.

The ride is tonight and guess who forgot to raise her cash? Me!

Here is an e-mail I circulated:

Hello madam

My name is (JIM) and I am raising funds for the Heart and Stroke Foundations big bike charity event for my wife. You see, every year someone’s wife talks herself into one of these things and forgets to get donations from people and gets her husband to do it for her. This is a severe problem and we hope to raise enough money to make her feel that she never has to do this again. (Unless she really really wants to.)
Would you be able to donate to such a worthy cause? If so I will send her post haste to you with a coffee or a (foam) bat so you can take a swing at her as many times as you feel your donation should allow.

Thank you for your time.

(Wife's) husband

Well I had a few takers, although I'm not sure if Wife knows what she's got waiting for her when she shows up to collect. No one took the coffee.