Mom, you raised one helluva guy!
I got in a fight at a Burger King drive through because my buddy couldn't control himself from laughing hysterically at the 6'2 mamoth ordering a stawberry milkshake and a burger cut in half from the order window just in front of us. My friend never threw a punch but was quick to point out that I never should have stopped swinging at the guy.
I once hosted a party where the staircase to the basement collapsed and the guests were trapped in the basement with the live band for an hour while me and "Magpie" held the staircase so everyone could get out. At the same time, the railing of my patio broke away from it because there were too many people out there. The people under the railing were not hurt. The people who landed on the railing after falling off the patio were mostly ok.
I once "cruised" the main drag in my hometown on a Saturday night in my boss's semi with 7 people crammed into the sleeper. I actually only won two of the five races despite what you may have heard.
I once fell asleep for 4 hours at work, on a pile of tires that I was supposed to taking inventory of, because I had two baseball games back to back until 2 in the morning, and then hosted a party afterwards. My secret was discovered when my co-worker pointed out the letter H and some of a U indented into the side of my face from the sidewall of a KHUMO tire I laid my head on.
I once did a quasi "striptease" on the Souris swinging bridge in the August Moonlight for nothing more than a double-dare. The best part is that I had a spotlight shining on me before I fled, courtesy of the Souris Police, who were just on the other side of the bridge.
But don't worry Mommy, I haven't done something stupid in days!
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