Pound for Pound Dick

"Those skiers, they're doping for sure, Hockey players... dopers... NFL football, oh you better believe they're doping... Major League Baseball, most of them dopers, Soccer... DOPE! Cricket in the Middle-East is plagued by dopers... Race car drivers, dope a dope dope... My pool boy? Dope-fiend. And don't get me started on those chinese chess players, they're so doped up the tests are negative."

Al this coming from the dopiest looking suit in sports. I wonder if anti-doping is the solution, eliminating hair treatments, or combinations of Wal-Mart brand supplements that return a positive test. I think the guidelines are a little too strenuous. I can see keeping steroids out of sports, but a creatine and L-Glutamine complex with Nitric Oxide stack is no steroid. But it does enhance performance, as does sleep, training eating and mental preparedness.

Olga Pyleva was Dick's first Olympic Gold medal:

"The drug she tested positive for was the banned stimulant carphedon, said Nikolai Durmanov, head of the Russian Anti-Doping Committee. He said a doctor who treated her for an ankle injury in January gave her an over-the-counter medication that did not list carphedon as one of its ingredients."

To which our crusader replies:
"It's a bad thing that somebody is testing positive, but it's a good thing we got her," World Anti-Doping Agency chief Dick Pound said.

"I don't know whether their defence is credible or not, but it doesn't matter," Pound said. "It's the stuff in your system that counts. That's all that matters as far as the Olympic result is concerned."

Now that Dick got his victory he can move on to testing the children in the pageantry for high sugar levels and strip them of their commemorative toques. Attaboy Dick!