Lost the league...

But won the night!

This is the story of what happens when a team that holds 3rd in their softball league loses 7 consecutive games in the playoffs.

I knew Saturday would be an interesting one when the first beer was cracked at 9:00 AM. We were playing our first game of the day against the team that seems to win every year. The usual team has 10 players, we were counting on 9 showing up (not bad)... 7 made an appearance. You need a minimum of 8 to play, so we could have lost by default, but the kids were good enough to lend us a catcher and play on anyways.

We were leading after 4 innings, but then the youngsters woke up and got to batting. We lost, but not as badly as we should have. Our next game was at 11:00 so we set up camp near the pavillion and started into the free beer the beer fund had bought us.

11:00 we make our way to the diamond to meed the hated "Jail" team. This team possesses one of the most obnoxious cigar smoking old men you would ever meet, and since we only had seven players he decided they would take the win, even though it didn't matter to them in the playoffs since they were already out. Gutless. This got Polo, Bish and a few others really pissed, and the verbal chatter started. My favorite was: "Hope you choke on your cigar you old @#$% sucker!"

We packed up our things and headed back to "Camp" and started back into the beer. Around 3:30 it was time to stumble home for a shower and get ready for the banquet that follows the tournament each year where the usual things happen. The trophy is awarded; Each team names an MVP; Eeyore slow dances with Cookie; Wheels eats 13 cabbage rolls (with mashed potatoes, roast beef, bread and salad) and Jim cuts a rug with anyone and everyone.

But first, the shower. I was finished showering and my wife was going to drop me at Steve-o's where some of the team was going to gather, she was supposed to work, so she woudn't be attending, except that, 10 gallons of scalding hot water shot straight from a hole in the wall where the "H" labelled faucet used to be, until Jim slipped and took it down. Jim's back served as a bit of a shield however, but didn't stop the water from covering the bathroom floor. Naked as a newborn Jim streaked down the stairs into the basement where he tried frantically to find the hot water shutoff. Succeeding only to find the water main, Jim had it under control.

Jim joggeed his soggy naked ass back upstairs to where Wife was on all fours soaking up the pool into every towell we owned. Wife was not going to work tonight.

The damage was more severe than Jim knew to fix, so he called landlord for advice, not mentionning that Jims naked drunk self was the cause of the broken fixture. "Get a plumber and send me the bill." I love my new landlord.

Plumber comes right over and after 20 minutes has a temporary fix. Wife drives me to buddy's house where we all gather have one quick one and head out. Wife will join us later after she is ready (has to have a shower).

We get to banquet and have supper and usual visiting. the dance starts and Wife arrives, ready to have some fun now. We dance we drink, having a great time. The party winds down and as usual, we decide to go to overtime. Off to the bar we go. A quick drink and that's it, Jim is done. I wobble outside and make my way to the truck back at the hall to wait for Wife to drive us home. I fall asleep in the back of the truck.

Next vivid memory; it's 4:00 AM and we're moving. Later find out that Vicki was unable to drive (I never noticed she was drunk, that's how bad I was), and actually took a cab home with Wheels and his wife (yet to be niknamed), thinking I went home. The house was locked and guess who had the keys? That's right the fat mess in the back of the X-Terra. Wheels scales the wall to the second storey and makes it through a window. Jim obviously not here, so Vicki calls Eeyore to see if maybe I was there and let them know she was going to see if maybe I was at the truck.

S.O.L. graciously offers to drive Vicki instead of make her cab it and sure enough there I am sound asleep. We all go home and sleep until late morning.

All said, it was a magical evening... I even managed to disapear! Waka waka!

Can't wait til Haloween party!