Bulwer Lytton has got me...

General Scott looked back at his career with great pride. He had accumulated several trophies and awards, and his career could be summed up as “Extraordinary”. He remembered the cheers upon his return home, after victory had been clinched; the cries of agony and the adrenaline rush that comes with initiating an offensive. His days leading his group were over due to an injury to his thumb that he sustained while on duty. A tear welled up in his eye as he placed his uniform in the closet, never to be worn again. Surely a jacket crested: “The Pin Platoon” reflected less on his army career (of which he had none), and more on his men’s league bowling team. The General would never forgive the guys for giving him a finger trap.