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Can you believe it? I am actually posting from the cummunity cubicle. Wonder if I'll post more often now? Stay tuned to find out!

Boating and CFL bashing

I leave Thursday for the Great White once again. This time we'll be making a 4 day boat ride from Hay River to Tuktoyaktuk. Should be an interesting ride since I've only ever flown there.

Since I may be away from my computer I encourage you to try and keep a healthy daily dose of laughter by listening to ESPN Radio talkhost Colin Cowherd. Here's a bit of what he had to say (pilfered from Rod Pedersen).

Outspoken ESPN Radio talkhost Colin Cowherd dumped all over the CFL recently on his daily call-in show. It's got everybody talking. Here's the transcript....

COWHERD: Listen to this story; you've been bashing Europeans all day, let's go bash some Canadians! Senator Larry Campbell, yesterday tabled Bill S-238 which aims to protect the CFL by keeping the NFL from playing regular season games in Canada. The proposed Canadian Football Act is a direct response to a perceived threat to the CFL from the decision of the NFL's Buffalo Bills to play eight games in Toronto over a five-year period beginning this August.

I mean honestly, is this the dumbest thing you've ever heard? A Canadian politician wants to keep the NFL out of Canada. That's like the president of Yale saying 'no more valedictorians in our school! Give us dumber kids!' Could Canada be more provincial?? Listen, we took Celine Dion and hockey and they're both HORRIBLE!! And you won't take the NFL?

Canadians want the NFL. I never met a Canadian in my life who'd rather watch the Saskatchewan Radial Tires instead of the Steelers. I've never met one! Call me, if you'd rather watch the Calgary Caribou over the Dallas Cowboys. Dude, you are doing meth. The CFL is HORRIBLE! Canadians don't like the CFL! I'd rather do black tar heroin with Alanis Morrissette than watch a quarter of CFL football. GOD!

The field is 800 feet and looks like a tarmac! The endzone is 400 yards long! They punt on the 1! It's ridiculous. You can run a post-pattern at the 2 - what kind of league is that? It's ridiculous! Listen, we took Bryan Adams. You can't take the NFL? We take all your bad acts. Sheesh.

Dave in Toronto, you're in the Herd. what's up?

DAVE IN TORONTO: Usually I disagree with everything you say but I just want to say that Canadians are usually very excited about the NFL and I normally never watch the CFL except to watch Ricky Williams to see if he's gonna get stoned on the field. But you've gotta remember up here the Senate is unelected. It's a bunch of careerist buffoons who are friends of the Prime Minister.

COWHERD: Dave, we let Tim Horton's in down here because we're not afraid of competition. You're afraid of us! We don't vacation there, but you vacation here because we build better resorts. Except for Banff. That's nice.

I mean it's just incredible. It's like in Canadian radio you have to play 70% Canadian artists, so you get some guy with a banjo. It's terrible! Canadian Football League.

Alex in Nebraska, you're in the Herd:

ALEX IN NEBRASKA: Yah, Johnny Rogers from Nebraska played in the CFL after he left the 'Huskers and they were playing in the Grey Cup. He ran a punt back and threw the ball in the end zone and they had to end the game because that's the only ball they had.

COWHERD: (UPROARIUS LAUGHTER)

ALEX IN NEBRASKA: That's the CFL.

COWHERD: U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E!!

Dan in Toronto, what-up?

DAN IN TORONTO: Hi Colin. About that politician who's trying to make a stance on the NFL, he's absolutely absurd. I'm Canadian and I love the NFL and I hate the CFL. A 300-yard endzone is ridiculous.

COWHERD: You'll let Ricky WIlliams into Canada, but not the NFL. He's the biggest dingbat in the NFL. That's corrosive. You've got to be kidding me. Every Canadian I met is reasonable and nice but your politicians are absurd.

Meredith in Michigan you're on the air..

MEREDITH: Hey Colin. They're afraid of the NFL because they're afraid the Canadians will see how awful their football is and how awful hockey is to watch and they're afraid their sports are gonna wither up and die.

COWHERD: I love Canada, but here's Canada. Canada's one of those countries who lectures you on how sophisticated they are. Yet, have you ever gone to Windsor, which is just across from Detroit? They have casinos, where they put huge signs that say CASINO. Like in America, it says the Mirage. People can figure it out. If they're so smart, it's like going up to a place with a sign that says RESTAURANT or SCHOOL. I mean honestly, your Queen doesn't even live in your country. She lives across the ocean. Canada, you've got issues.

Let the NFL into Canada and give your people options. Not the Nova Scotia Bumble Bees against one of nine teams called the Roughriders!

Two words Pig Rectum: "Fair catch"... Pussy.

Newfoundland wins the Cup!

This is a bit of what I dislike about the Eastern provinces. Those who know me, know I dislike many other things east of NB. I've written and erased so many paragraphs for this post that I think I'll leave it where it's at.

Congratulations Dan Cleary.

Gloomy day blogging

Though the forecast is calling for some great stuff in the next few days, today is shaping up to be a tv watching sort of day. Escept I'm at work.

I submitted some pretty funny Rider Pride pictures to Rod Pedersen's blog, I think I had him to thank mainly for a lot of the traffic I used to get that has now disapeared. It probably has something to do with the 1 post in three months thing.

I am being "blessed" with a Blackberry this week. I am a little disapointed because I see those people at the airports or walking down the streets completely engorged by their little computers. I don't want to be one of those people. Another thing that bothers me is sitting down with the closest family and friends and competing for their undivided attention.

Otherwise, Riderville is looking amassed and ready for battle, my tanline is developping nicely as is my Stanley Cup playoff keg-belly. I have however been drinking lite beer... sometimes... when the store is out of anything GOOD!

Stay sexy WWW.

Ontario

Suddenly I realized my daughter is going to be an Ontarian.

Not sure why this bothers me but the thought of my little girl saying “aboot”, instead of about, the fact that she’s likely to develop some sort of breathing problem and that she is destined to be a horrible driver, gives me shivers up my spine.

I grew up in Saskatchewan where kindness and patience were always practiced. I spent a few weeks in the Northwest Territories and the place reminded me of home. Nobody flips you off or tailgates you for pulling out in 100 feet in front of them. The give a penny take a penny rule is in effect up to 10 cents, and if you’re still short, the person in line behind you (not snarling at your lack of preparation and existence on the same plane as theirs) will gladly oblige a few dollars.

My stress levels dropped during my sojourn, and every time I go back to my hometown in Saskatchewan I always come away feeling recharged and more patient with the screaming heads of this area. I guess that’s why I moved away from the small city of Sarnia and found a little spot where I can take a drive at 80 kilometres and hour in my old truck, wave to every set of fenders I meet and cool down when the city stress gets to me.

Knowing the kids are a 15-20 minute drive from any curb or convenience store also gives me some comfort.

Hey does anyone have the cliffnotes version on raising poultry? This could replace office chatter if I’m ever lonely for the office. HA!

No-Mater

Those of you familiar with the chldren's movie "Cars" will appreciate this.

My old truck that has been carying the load for the past year died in the most unceremonious fashion when Is sputtered to a stop a month ago. The day I bought it I was out to show it off a little to some of my friends. Their children marvelled at its rust spots and hard looking shape and how it looked, smelled and likely ran much like the truck from that movie "Cars". So from that moment it would become Mater.

I was carrying a few stumps to a little patch of bush in the slough behind my house when I got stuck. I worked and worked to try and get it out but in the end I think I pushed the old girl too hard. It quit and would not start up again. I towed it home with the neighbor's tractor hoping that some rest and a few diagnostics would get it roling again.

I started with some electronic modules and the ignition coil, still nothing. I replaced the distributor, rotoe, plugs, wires (all purchased from the wrecker down the road) and nothing. It was time to accept that nothing short of a miracle was going to bring Mater back.

It took a few weks to get over but I did find a truck to buy, it's an upgrade to be sure. Extended cab, comfort, air conditioning, tilt steering, floor mats. Oh this truck has it all. So it's 12 years old with 300,000 kilometers. Mater would attest to the fact that I love a challenge and an oppertunity to get dirty. Why, as a matter of fact I've already replaced break lines, almost every conceivable light and the smell of old tobacco smoke.

Yup this truck should laxst me a few years and witgh no nicknames (yet), it's sure to live a long happy cartoonish life. But as we know some cartoons don't end in a happy way, just ask Wil-E Coyote.

Lawn mower follies

Finally home after another work related abscence. Great to be back, except for the front yard mess.

The Dandelions were grown 4 or 5 inches above the grass and the grass was 6" tall! I guess the rain came and kept coming so there was little oppertunity to get mowed, not that I had planned for that anyway (remember wife has a broken foot).

So I proceeded to cut it to the highest setting on my MTD so as not to create too much clipping mess, thinking I would give it another going-over in a day or so.

I parked the machine and tooka pull of a well earned beverage. The stink of gasoline filled my shed and soon I noticed a puddle forming under my machine. The Muffler was leaking gas (more like it was pouring) all over the floor. I quickly grabbed a vice-grip and choked off the fuel line. Let's see hot muffler, gasoline. Add a spark and, well sir, you got yourself a blaze! Fortunately there was no spark but I'm sure the sheer heat of the muffler after running 2 hours was plenty.

I spent the whole weekend dismantling and re-assembling my poor little MTD. The fuel spewing has been addressed, however, the full throlltle running engine is a new problem. No big deal I guess, I like to go at full speed anyway.

Pain in the ass

As you have likely noticed that I changed things up a little, a fresh(er) look and some other things that are more fun. Hopefully to help me re-generate some interest here since my recent disapearance from my brain baby.

While watching some of that you-tube mess on the right there a good point was raised and I've been meaning to sound off.

I am sick of watching television and being bombarded with advertisements not during commercial breaks. The programs are plastered with them and it makes me mad. Sort of helpless feeling isn't it? You can't flip from channel to channel to avoid being "targeted". It's simply there, taking up half the screen at times.

Another such annoyance is the sports networks who find it necessary to subtitle everything, you're watching highlights of a game and a moniker blocks out the bottom half of the screen. I refer you to this picture.

What you can't see is the goalie and the puck in the net, what's the f-ing point, if I wanted to read about it I'd get a newspaper, don't get me started on the piles of shit I have to throw out before I can actually begin reading, between the ads, of course.

before long advertisements and subtitles will require a second HD television that must be on at all times during your program so that they can advertise full-bore for the duration of your show. I just hope Boston Pizza comes up with smell-o-vision first.

The little apartment from hell

I have stayed at some pretty shitty places, but this is by far the shittiest. Cambridge apartment... you just made the list.

I am in Hay River for 10 nights and the accomodations are hard to come by. I booked my stay at a converted apartment building. My bed is 3 feet from the fridge, sink and closet. The brand-new handheld showerhead is dangling from a hook on the wall, my oven lightly warms (not even enough to toast and the center supports for my bed are gone.

So apart from feeling like an Oscar Mayer when I wake in the middle of the night, and hearing the fridge compressor "clunk" on and off all night, the trip is going great, mostly because I LEAVE TOMORROW and only have to endure this one last night.

Should I be concerned that all of the fire extinguishers and devices haven't had their yearly inspection for 7-12 years? Oh well at least I know the fire won't be started from my oven.

I wanna be...

I did, it, I got with the time and played a video game like a 13 year old would until the wee hours of the morning. I have got to tell you, it's not a game for the shy and the more of an ass you think you are, the better your points.

For some reason I started at drummer, then "the band" decided I may be destined for greater things as Bassist... I ended up humming along to some familliar tunes instead, my true calling was as a singer anyway (I refer to my childhood trophies which are for 1. singing, and 2. curling). It's funny because I'm not sure when my beautiful Alto voice became a croaky raspy hiss, but in any case the game does a good job of masking the many many imperfections.

Not going to be taking this game home any time soon, especially with my family who is one part uncoordination and 4 parts churchmouse shy.

If an absentee blogger posts on the WWW, does anybody read?

The facebook phenomenon seems t be getting old.

It used to be when my wife and I posted pictures or updates it took minutes, maybe hours for there to be some comments surfacing, people were all over it. Lately I have noticed that this, much like myspace, or MSN messenger all seem to be fads that fade rather quickly.

I use facebook, not because I want to keep up on gossip or check in on friends, but to share pictures with my family. It is the easiest way for me to do that and since I basically ignore anyone who requests to be a "friend" that I haven't had a conversation with over the past 2 years it makes it a bit more personal than posting them here.

I wish there were simple free on-line photo albums that didn't require memberships or downloads that would allow only select people to share pictures. Blogger takes way to long to post, Facebook requires what seems like constnt downloads and updates and Kodak is, well, like subscribing to a K-Tel product newsletter.

If my daughters weren't so cute I might not bother sharing, but dang-it, they are by far the best looking kids I've ever seen... spoken like a true daddy!

Land 'ho!!!!!!!!!

Finally some progress.

For the past few years I have been tasked with the unholy assignment of getting the vessel I am supposed to operate rebuilt, to code, with little to no formal or former Marine Engineering experience. The next hurdle because, how do I get someone who specializes in this sort of thing to do the extensive electrical and radar/satelite systems repair?

Finally I found someone who can do the work, but what would I have him do exactly?

I needed to get a specification made so that a Marine engineer could come and make a specification so that an Electrical contractor could come and do the required work. Keeping in mind every process has to be either transparent or risk losing my awesome job by hiring someone who would split up the work to keep me under a spending limit. That wasn't happening (though it was considered briefly at many of the major obstacles I came upon).

Now I have created a Work description for the work to be done so that the work that needs to be done can be awarded to the best bidder. Tell me about it!

So today I receive word that my saviour comes to me in the form of a 1st Engineer who has experience with our fleet and would love the chance to create a specific work description for our fast Command and Control vessel. Awesome. Might even be something worth looking at once Grampa and Gramma come to visit.

Help my buddy ROD

Get him some votes y'all!!!! This is the Roughrider insider (Pedersenmedia) listed on the right in my links section, he is great and never misses a day,info is better than Riderville!!!

http://www.polldaddy.com/poll.aspx?p=230664

A Promising Forecast

With our temperature hovering near zero for the next week or so, looks like winter will hesitate to resume in February. I can handle that!

Winter Break

IT's a girl!! Actually, she's nearly 3 months old and she is absolutely perfect.

I somehow doubt that I get any more traffic on my little corner of the web, but I figure I will keep on the way I started, low key.

Winter broke for us last week, the piles of snow disapeared and I actually caught up on the fall chores that I had slated for October that got neglected while awaiting my daughter's arrival. I raked the backyard, cleaned the gutters, took down my Christmas lights, cleaned the dog dropping all over the yard and removed a pear tree that served more as a wasp feeder than anything significantly useful.

My wife cleaned the car and went for spring-time walks. It was a lovely and relaxing weekend.

Today scattered snow flurries and rain arrive and the temperature is set to drop over the next 5 days. I don't mind though because unlike a lot of my family, I got a break.

Now if only the moisture would disapear and afford me one more day of wood cutting to stockpile my supply for the remaining winter weeks (likely 8 or so).