I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Uh, I don’t mean to alarm you all, but Christmas is 7 days away. Somehow the whole thing has snuck up on me. So I haven’t bought any of you anything. I’m saving that for the 24th (Pa taught me well).

Now for the most important blog of the year. The HappyGapper Wish list.

For Christmas I want:

-A sliding 12 inch mitre saw with laser guide and stand.
-18 rolls of various household and industrial adhesive tape.
-A Bullmastif pup name Oggie.
-A pair of black Casual shoes to replace EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF SHOES THAT I EITHER THREW OUT OR LOST DURING MY RECENT RELOCATION!
-A pardon from the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce for any outstanding loan or Credit Item in my name.
-A 45 gallon drum to be used as a burning barrel for my place, so I can warm myself near its glow like a New York vagrant.
-A map to the money tree that everyone seems to have access to, except me.
-ONE FRIGGIN HMO VICTORY!
-A Lottery ticket that will be but one number off in each of my 6 picks (admit it, that would be pretty cool).
-A trip to Scotland for research purposes for my next Luau appearance.
-A recipe for mom’s patented butter tarts that won’t take all day or make a mess.
-A car that runs on swear words and hand gestures.

There it is. Shop wisely people. I must warn you that most of these items are somewhat pricey, so take a trek down to the money tree before you hit the mall.

TA