Shits and Giggles

Here's a joke that was forwarded to me via e-mail with a reply with the Happy Gapper spin...


I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting "The Purina Diet" again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but That I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two Every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack as he staggered out the door laughing!!

HG SAYS:

In light of this revelation I must advise you that Purina is generally compiled of sawdust and livestock horns with a saucy blend of Chicken remains (generally the stuff even McDonalds wouldn't try to pass off as food). I must also advise you that the reason you found it necessary to "lick your balls" was to dispel the taste that is left from the pellets which are slightly more offensive than said balls.

Please reconsider your decisions to both consume the pellets for weight control and lick yourself in public.

Cheers