Boating and CFL bashing

I leave Thursday for the Great White once again. This time we'll be making a 4 day boat ride from Hay River to Tuktoyaktuk. Should be an interesting ride since I've only ever flown there.

Since I may be away from my computer I encourage you to try and keep a healthy daily dose of laughter by listening to ESPN Radio talkhost Colin Cowherd. Here's a bit of what he had to say (pilfered from Rod Pedersen).

Outspoken ESPN Radio talkhost Colin Cowherd dumped all over the CFL recently on his daily call-in show. It's got everybody talking. Here's the transcript....

COWHERD: Listen to this story; you've been bashing Europeans all day, let's go bash some Canadians! Senator Larry Campbell, yesterday tabled Bill S-238 which aims to protect the CFL by keeping the NFL from playing regular season games in Canada. The proposed Canadian Football Act is a direct response to a perceived threat to the CFL from the decision of the NFL's Buffalo Bills to play eight games in Toronto over a five-year period beginning this August.

I mean honestly, is this the dumbest thing you've ever heard? A Canadian politician wants to keep the NFL out of Canada. That's like the president of Yale saying 'no more valedictorians in our school! Give us dumber kids!' Could Canada be more provincial?? Listen, we took Celine Dion and hockey and they're both HORRIBLE!! And you won't take the NFL?

Canadians want the NFL. I never met a Canadian in my life who'd rather watch the Saskatchewan Radial Tires instead of the Steelers. I've never met one! Call me, if you'd rather watch the Calgary Caribou over the Dallas Cowboys. Dude, you are doing meth. The CFL is HORRIBLE! Canadians don't like the CFL! I'd rather do black tar heroin with Alanis Morrissette than watch a quarter of CFL football. GOD!

The field is 800 feet and looks like a tarmac! The endzone is 400 yards long! They punt on the 1! It's ridiculous. You can run a post-pattern at the 2 - what kind of league is that? It's ridiculous! Listen, we took Bryan Adams. You can't take the NFL? We take all your bad acts. Sheesh.

Dave in Toronto, you're in the Herd. what's up?

DAVE IN TORONTO: Usually I disagree with everything you say but I just want to say that Canadians are usually very excited about the NFL and I normally never watch the CFL except to watch Ricky Williams to see if he's gonna get stoned on the field. But you've gotta remember up here the Senate is unelected. It's a bunch of careerist buffoons who are friends of the Prime Minister.

COWHERD: Dave, we let Tim Horton's in down here because we're not afraid of competition. You're afraid of us! We don't vacation there, but you vacation here because we build better resorts. Except for Banff. That's nice.

I mean it's just incredible. It's like in Canadian radio you have to play 70% Canadian artists, so you get some guy with a banjo. It's terrible! Canadian Football League.

Alex in Nebraska, you're in the Herd:

ALEX IN NEBRASKA: Yah, Johnny Rogers from Nebraska played in the CFL after he left the 'Huskers and they were playing in the Grey Cup. He ran a punt back and threw the ball in the end zone and they had to end the game because that's the only ball they had.

COWHERD: (UPROARIUS LAUGHTER)

ALEX IN NEBRASKA: That's the CFL.

COWHERD: U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E!!

Dan in Toronto, what-up?

DAN IN TORONTO: Hi Colin. About that politician who's trying to make a stance on the NFL, he's absolutely absurd. I'm Canadian and I love the NFL and I hate the CFL. A 300-yard endzone is ridiculous.

COWHERD: You'll let Ricky WIlliams into Canada, but not the NFL. He's the biggest dingbat in the NFL. That's corrosive. You've got to be kidding me. Every Canadian I met is reasonable and nice but your politicians are absurd.

Meredith in Michigan you're on the air..

MEREDITH: Hey Colin. They're afraid of the NFL because they're afraid the Canadians will see how awful their football is and how awful hockey is to watch and they're afraid their sports are gonna wither up and die.

COWHERD: I love Canada, but here's Canada. Canada's one of those countries who lectures you on how sophisticated they are. Yet, have you ever gone to Windsor, which is just across from Detroit? They have casinos, where they put huge signs that say CASINO. Like in America, it says the Mirage. People can figure it out. If they're so smart, it's like going up to a place with a sign that says RESTAURANT or SCHOOL. I mean honestly, your Queen doesn't even live in your country. She lives across the ocean. Canada, you've got issues.

Let the NFL into Canada and give your people options. Not the Nova Scotia Bumble Bees against one of nine teams called the Roughriders!

Two words Pig Rectum: "Fair catch"... Pussy.

Newfoundland wins the Cup!

This is a bit of what I dislike about the Eastern provinces. Those who know me, know I dislike many other things east of NB. I've written and erased so many paragraphs for this post that I think I'll leave it where it's at.

Congratulations Dan Cleary.

Gloomy day blogging

Though the forecast is calling for some great stuff in the next few days, today is shaping up to be a tv watching sort of day. Escept I'm at work.

I submitted some pretty funny Rider Pride pictures to Rod Pedersen's blog, I think I had him to thank mainly for a lot of the traffic I used to get that has now disapeared. It probably has something to do with the 1 post in three months thing.

I am being "blessed" with a Blackberry this week. I am a little disapointed because I see those people at the airports or walking down the streets completely engorged by their little computers. I don't want to be one of those people. Another thing that bothers me is sitting down with the closest family and friends and competing for their undivided attention.

Otherwise, Riderville is looking amassed and ready for battle, my tanline is developping nicely as is my Stanley Cup playoff keg-belly. I have however been drinking lite beer... sometimes... when the store is out of anything GOOD!

Stay sexy WWW.

Ontario

Suddenly I realized my daughter is going to be an Ontarian.

Not sure why this bothers me but the thought of my little girl saying “aboot”, instead of about, the fact that she’s likely to develop some sort of breathing problem and that she is destined to be a horrible driver, gives me shivers up my spine.

I grew up in Saskatchewan where kindness and patience were always practiced. I spent a few weeks in the Northwest Territories and the place reminded me of home. Nobody flips you off or tailgates you for pulling out in 100 feet in front of them. The give a penny take a penny rule is in effect up to 10 cents, and if you’re still short, the person in line behind you (not snarling at your lack of preparation and existence on the same plane as theirs) will gladly oblige a few dollars.

My stress levels dropped during my sojourn, and every time I go back to my hometown in Saskatchewan I always come away feeling recharged and more patient with the screaming heads of this area. I guess that’s why I moved away from the small city of Sarnia and found a little spot where I can take a drive at 80 kilometres and hour in my old truck, wave to every set of fenders I meet and cool down when the city stress gets to me.

Knowing the kids are a 15-20 minute drive from any curb or convenience store also gives me some comfort.

Hey does anyone have the cliffnotes version on raising poultry? This could replace office chatter if I’m ever lonely for the office. HA!